Thursday, September 27, 2001
|9:17 AM| Well, for reasons I don't fully understand, I am involved in the writing of another comedy site. Unfortunately, the site has not gone live yet, so instead of a link, here is my current contribution to the world of laughter and tears:

Hooray! As promised, the text of that post. But no link, the site is not yet live.
I am a bad man
I often abuse screws. You know...those dirty filthy whores of screwdrivers. I deliberately strip 'em when I'm done with them. When I'm finished ravaging them there's no way anything else is fitting in the top properly! Then I toss them away like garbage


Capitalistic ventures ahoy! I'm actually getting calls again for my freelance tech work. Mostly I go to people's homes and act as though I know exactly what's going on. I used to be perfectly honest with customers. "Gosh, I'm not sure what's wrong, but I'll see if I can't figure it out".
This does not instill confidence, but if you act confident during the work, they feel fine. Now, if you extend that confidence to the entire process, from handshake to check collection, the people involved feel so much better and act happier. You could ask the customer to please pick up the smoking bit of debris that just popped out of his computer and skittered along the floor. If you act like it was exactly what you intended to happen, they won't question you. As long as nothing phases you but the most incredibly shocking things, the customer will usually feel that you have everything under control. This includes when you recoil in horror and run screaming for your car.
"I'm sure he just needs to get some parts from Mexico or where ever he said he was headed".


Keep your receipts!

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We need one created for the years, and then the months. The months are the /////tricky ones, since they need their ID to increase more than the years, but since the functions keep referencing ///// the same name system, we have to be careful not to make the years close up when we click on a month. ///Set some Variables $YearMenuID = 1; /////What ID the preceding year link controls. Needs to be same for all the months under a given year. $MonthMenuID= 1; ////What ID the preceding month link controls. Needs to be the same for all the weeks under a given ////Month but not the same as any year, etc. $LastYearUsed = 0; $LastMonthUsed = 0; echo '

'; /////That should be the "Year" div. All the years should be in this one DIV. ///Start the main loop. foreach ($myDateArray as $key => $value) { ////Pulling the year/date. $month = ExtractMonth($value); $year = ExtractYear($value); $YearMenuID = $year; $MonthMenuID = $month; $PrettyMonth = $MyDateArray[$month]; ////Is this a new year? If ($year != $LastYearUsed) ///Then we need to put the year down. No DIV created quite yet. { ///First off, we need to close the preceding year's DIV. Twice if it ain't 2001 if ($year != 2001) { echo '

'; } echo '

$myDateArray[$key]

_HTML2_; ///That creates a DIV for the year (month based links) then the month (week based links). ////Then the first weekly link. ///That should have made a link to the weekly archive file. ///As well as creating the first month link, which is in its own DIV, } Else { ///Okay, it's not a new year. So, we need to check if it's a new month. If($month != $LastMonthUsed) { //So it's a new month. That means we need to put down a link for the month to control the div //that contains the weekly links. //First, though, we need to close up the previous month echo '

$myDateArray[$key]

_HTML3_; } Else /////////So it's not a new month, then we just need to put down the weekly link. { echo '

' . $myDateArray[$key] . '

'; } } $LastMonthUsed = $month; $LastYearUsed = $year; } ECHO '