Friday, February 20, 2004
axolotl, axolotl, lol |1:07 PM|



The Axolotl is a fascinating creature for a number of reasons, including its grotesque appearance, its ability to regenerate, and primarily the fact that it exhibits the phenomenon known as neoteny.


A pal of mine has a directory named what at first appeared to be random characters. At some point a long time ago, I found out it was the name of a strange creature. If you click the above link you'll learn all about them.

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Thursday, February 19, 2004
What is it like to be dead? |2:22 PM|
Recently I decided that I'd like to know more about the experience the dead have been having with their post-life existence. I sent several letters to Former-President Lincoln and will update you on his response.

Also a few seconds ago I sneezed while eating a cookie and it was disgusting.

Meanwhile

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Talenetless Hack seeks recruits for Acapella Singing, light gunfighting. |1:07 PM|
Combinging my two great loves, music and putting bullets into people, I am seeking team-player self starters for singing engagements and pitched gun battles.
Do you hold a love of song in your heart? Have you shot a man just to watch him die?

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Damn this mortal body |12:13 PM|
What a load of crap. I've picked up some infection that is making me feel like death warmed over. Spots on skin? No. Hemorrhaging? No.
Nothing to justify why I feel like this. It has sapped my energy, I feel cold despite my huge jacket, I'm shivering or shaking, and my balance is crap.

This is bullshit. The least this disease could do would be to give me something demonstrable, like a hacking cough or blood running out of my eyes. But no, the only visible symptom besides shivering is that my face "doesn't have any color".

Vid says, as a manager, if I can't do my job I should go home. Well, I'm capable of doing my job but I'm not happy, which isn't a job requirement. I'm just going to sit here, feeling like death warmed over and wonder why my immune system failed me. It better look like a goddamn pro-wrestling match in there, with anti-bodies and white blood cells hitting bacteria over the head with tiny chairs or something.



On a lighter note, Portal has stopped punching me in the belly when I start doing something that calls for punishment. Now she bites me. At one point, during an explanation of the "Chicks in prison" movie genre, I launched into a rant about how we're all prisoners...in our hearts! How we can't let our emotions jail us blah blah blah so Portal started gnawing on my skull.
"Your head won't fit in my mouth!" She exclaimed, clearly disappointed.

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Wednesday, February 18, 2004
|12:50 PM|
Israel Attacked the Liberty
I wonder if this is legit.

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A smattering |12:06 PM|
As an aside, sorry the site was down. Continued mayhem caused by my credit card being shutdown. Did I mention that? My credit card number was among quite a few others "at risk" when a computer at Visa was stolen. None of the numbers have been used, apparently, and so it would appear the thief was just after a free computer. I didn't know about this, as my bank had the wrong address for me. So the "Important notice" and "Hey, asshole, we're turning off your debit card!" did not make their way into my hands. How unfortunate. Meanwhile, I was going around town flipping out that my card wasn't working ("Goddamn stupid fucking bank!? What's wrong NOW?!"). Finally, at a UFCU ATM, my card was confiscated. At which time I flipped out to a greater degree and made faces at the camera while flipping it off, as well as yelling "Goddamn ape-shitting CHRIST what the FUCK" and other such phrases.

I went by the bank the next day and it was all resolved. I did not ask the account executive to drink a gallon of my urine in order to retain my accounts ("You won't? Are you not authorized to drink my urine? Is your supervisor here? Are they able?") As this whole mess was a great deal My Fault. Fuck.


I managed to "Hire" FluteFyre to take care of shipping my shirts, as I suck at it. As long as there are profits, she'll get paid. Now all I have to do is calculate the profit on each shirt, or just hope we sell enough shirts that we pass the $1400 mark and everything is "profit".

One of the few pictures I have of FluteFyre is from right after a trip to a water park. She doesn't usually wander around in a bathing suit.

This was in the same directory of images, and it amuses me. ARRRRRRR.

Finished Rise of Endyminion. Took me long enough. I had lost my copy of the fourth book in this series. Not wanting to throw money away by buying another copy, I'd occasionally sneak into bookstores and read a couple pages, as I was very close to the end when I lost it. I found my copy while cleaning, and was nearing the end again when my cat vomited on it. GODDAMMIT. I cleaned it up as best I could, and then waited a couple days for the book itself to dry out. Ugh.

I was called "honest looking" by some drunk folks the other day, but they wanted to use my cellphone. I think people who are hoping to rely on strangers being nice and honest will at least attempt to act nice themselves, unless they're trying to steal your wallet. Heck, they may still act nice to you.

Gene Boosting. Ooooh yeah. Sign me up, as long as it isn't lethal. I'd like to be stronger and hardier. Fuck yeah.


I was looking through drafts, and came across a couple of note. One was an entry I had to pull because it mentioned a friend of mine, whose ex-boyfriend was giving her crap about the picture in the post. Another was This old post set to "draft" I assume to keep from worrying people. It's not exactly tame, but it's not a suicide letter. Besides, I like some of the (admittedly foul) imagery.

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PortalStar would like to say... |2:05 AM|
Guest Speaker PortalStar:


Heeloo everyone it ist my 21st irthday and I am dvunk. I havbe theyy Brenceceil to hthank for that. And fados and red fexz but no t boyxz cellar because they cahrge cover. I am happy. I am intociscated. Have a happy one. Yes/.

-M.



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Monday, February 16, 2004
Things I should do today |9:28 AM|
Do my taxes

Work on Portal's website.

Update the front page of TPL with ANYTHING (done!)

Call action screen graphics, find out if I still owe them money

Chop off a couple toes for penance

See if I've missed the deadline to submit an advertisment to the Texas Travesty

Hire FluteFire to deal with my shirts so I stop being an idiot about it

Call my dentist and schedule another appointment

Order a Dell Axim to help organize things (Done)

Clip my tonails (done)

Purchase plastic motherboard holder so I can finish that damn computer.


Purchase stock in Corning or Pixar.

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People that are dating me or still have respect for me should probably skip this one |9:17 AM|
Want to hear something gross? I didn't cut my toenails for a while.

A long while.

Like, a month while. I wanted to see how long they could grow. The answer? Pretty fucking long.
It got to the point that I was curling my toes underneath my foot so I could put socks on in the morning. It eventually became a symbol for everything I was fucking up in my existence. These long toenails. How long could I just wait it out? A pretty long time. I'm sure I could have kept waiting on them but this was becoming absurd.
What snapped me out of it? Action Screen Graphics. I owe them money. I can't pay them while I'm up here at work, but I can clip my toenails. Disgusting? Perhaps, but at least I did it over a container to catch the clips. Later today I plan on paying action screen. Huzzah.

I will then attempt to hire a woman to take care of my shirts for me.


Meanwhile, I'm listening to the Phillip Glass-esque triplets of the hold music while doing my job.

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