Monday, October 08, 2001
|1:02 PM| Called a co-worker a "Goat raping nun-suckling shit eater" a few moments ago. The doctor I'm seeking help from is apparently permanently away, as I have now called a half dozen times and have gotten new excuses each time as to why I can't talk to anyone but the answering service. I'm tempted to go snort cocaine or something, as it would have the same effect.

Someone mentioned Omega-2 supplements or something, but I'm quickly losing all semblence of order. I started cursing and flipping out and it all sort of dissolved in a f-u-fu-fucking Fuckity fuck fufffkfyck as my stutter returned and I ran out of curse words. With no words stronger than fuck, I fell back into my chair, as angry as I was before but now even more frustrated. I have now, through my illness, run into the same wall as a friend of mine, though her needs for words stronger than fuck seem much more legitimate.
I've found that if I drive at speeds over 75 mph, and scream WOOOOOOOOO really loud, it makes me feel better. I inflicted this on Derek last night and he quickly decided to go home.

I do have periods of intense good will, and self confidence to make anyone clear from my path. I get more done during those periods than I used to in a week. It means my Adderall medication is still working, since these periods coincide with me being well rested and under the influence of that wonderful stuff. I might have to sell some things to pay for my prescription. Christ, I'm out of things to sell. This update is getting too long. Spoke to Derek last night, might have found a back door into college, (one different from the "waiting 10 years for the fresh start") so who knows. I am feeling better right now, blabbing this all out seems to help. I don't really want pity, yet I feel compelled to slush all this stuff out of my head like a broken 7-11 machine. I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore.

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We need one created for the years, and then the months. The months are the /////tricky ones, since they need their ID to increase more than the years, but since the functions keep referencing ///// the same name system, we have to be careful not to make the years close up when we click on a month. ///Set some Variables $YearMenuID = 1; /////What ID the preceding year link controls. Needs to be same for all the months under a given year. $MonthMenuID= 1; ////What ID the preceding month link controls. Needs to be the same for all the weeks under a given ////Month but not the same as any year, etc. $LastYearUsed = 0; $LastMonthUsed = 0; echo '

'; /////That should be the "Year" div. All the years should be in this one DIV. ///Start the main loop. foreach ($myDateArray as $key => $value) { ////Pulling the year/date. $month = ExtractMonth($value); $year = ExtractYear($value); $YearMenuID = $year; $MonthMenuID = $month; $PrettyMonth = $MyDateArray[$month]; ////Is this a new year? If ($year != $LastYearUsed) ///Then we need to put the year down. No DIV created quite yet. { ///First off, we need to close the preceding year's DIV. Twice if it ain't 2001 if ($year != 2001) { echo '

'; } echo '

$myDateArray[$key]

_HTML2_; ///That creates a DIV for the year (month based links) then the month (week based links). ////Then the first weekly link. ///That should have made a link to the weekly archive file. ///As well as creating the first month link, which is in its own DIV, } Else { ///Okay, it's not a new year. So, we need to check if it's a new month. If($month != $LastMonthUsed) { //So it's a new month. That means we need to put down a link for the month to control the div //that contains the weekly links. //First, though, we need to close up the previous month echo '

$myDateArray[$key]

_HTML3_; } Else /////////So it's not a new month, then we just need to put down the weekly link. { echo '

' . $myDateArray[$key] . '

'; } } $LastMonthUsed = $month; $LastYearUsed = $year; } ECHO '