Saturday, October 27, 2001
|12:32 AM| Cecil blows his damned line

I had just stepped out of Vorpal's apartment, and I was burdened by a large grocery bag of trash. At the bottom of the stairs was an attractive redheaded woman my age. She was dressed in a stylish leather jacket through which she was hunting for her keys. I realized that I should check for my keys as well before getting too far from Vorpal's place. I had to use my right hand to get them from my left pocket, so it was neither slick nor fast. When I finally fished them out the woman was looking up at me. She said hello and I answered as politely as possible, and walked down the stairs. She was walking around them towards home, so as I passed above her and to the side she looked toward me. I thought she looked a bit uncomfortable but before I could realize that she did not, I had already uttered the dumbest line imaginable to make her feel at ease. If scientists studied in conjuction with poets and philosophers for many decades, there is the slim possibility that they could develop a worse line to use to continue the conversation. I now give you, my line:

"I promise I won't bite"

Yeah. I know. She responded "Oh, I didn't think you would" followed by "Have a good evening" then she entered her apartment. I responded properly to the good evening statment, but the foul echo of my biffed line still hung in the air. I spent a good couple of minutes (after disposing of the trash) mentally kicking my own ass. And here is my entry about it.


I am such a dumb ass. Perhaps I will have another shot at her. Perhaps I will not use a string of sounds that is likely the incantation of some demonic spirit that thirsts for human eyes. Surely, somewhere in the ozone layer the residual soundwaves of my line are eating a hole in the protective layer of our planet.

Drag.

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We need one created for the years, and then the months. The months are the /////tricky ones, since they need their ID to increase more than the years, but since the functions keep referencing ///// the same name system, we have to be careful not to make the years close up when we click on a month. ///Set some Variables $YearMenuID = 1; /////What ID the preceding year link controls. Needs to be same for all the months under a given year. $MonthMenuID= 1; ////What ID the preceding month link controls. Needs to be the same for all the weeks under a given ////Month but not the same as any year, etc. $LastYearUsed = 0; $LastMonthUsed = 0; echo '

'; /////That should be the "Year" div. All the years should be in this one DIV. ///Start the main loop. foreach ($myDateArray as $key => $value) { ////Pulling the year/date. $month = ExtractMonth($value); $year = ExtractYear($value); $YearMenuID = $year; $MonthMenuID = $month; $PrettyMonth = $MyDateArray[$month]; ////Is this a new year? If ($year != $LastYearUsed) ///Then we need to put the year down. No DIV created quite yet. { ///First off, we need to close the preceding year's DIV. Twice if it ain't 2001 if ($year != 2001) { echo '

'; } echo '

$myDateArray[$key]

_HTML2_; ///That creates a DIV for the year (month based links) then the month (week based links). ////Then the first weekly link. ///That should have made a link to the weekly archive file. ///As well as creating the first month link, which is in its own DIV, } Else { ///Okay, it's not a new year. So, we need to check if it's a new month. If($month != $LastMonthUsed) { //So it's a new month. That means we need to put down a link for the month to control the div //that contains the weekly links. //First, though, we need to close up the previous month echo '

$myDateArray[$key]

_HTML3_; } Else /////////So it's not a new month, then we just need to put down the weekly link. { echo '

' . $myDateArray[$key] . '

'; } } $LastMonthUsed = $month; $LastYearUsed = $year; } ECHO '