Monday, December 03, 2001
|2:00 AM| The fog I drove through this evening was chockingly thick, to turn on my high beams was to go blind from the reflected light. I mention this because of what I saw swim out of the fog, ot came slowly as a dull red glow, and soon it began to take shape as words. It was a sign for a huge Marriot hotel, but as it drifted into sight it was monstrous. It seemed to be suspended in blackness, and it was as intimidating a thing as I have seen on the road in quite some time.

I cut myself quite badly tonight. I was digging around in my car's trunk and some blade or sharp edge took a large chunk of skin off my finger, and left it dangling. The edge that got me was covered in spill pinsol, so it was immediately unpleasent. I doused it in rubbing alcohol, and then had to dig through the injury with a pair of tweezers to see if any remnant of what had slashed me was still in the wound. It was unpleasant, to be folding back part of my own flesh, and the intense pain didn't help either. I couldn't make any noise while I was doing the maintanence, I didn't want the person who's house I was in to know how badly I had actually hurt myself.
After I was done peeling the skin off of my finger, something occurred to me about the way I smile. When I'm really angry or in a threatening mood, I smile the same way as when I am very amused. I tighten the skin around my mouth by clenching my jaw so my lips peel away from my teeth more than just being moved aside. The lips sometime catch for a second and snap away, it's an odd sensation and I'm sure no one else notices the difference. One good thing about smiling when I'm really angry is that it's one time my face is not making my emotional state universally clear to anyone looking. Vorpal understands it, he's picked up on my grinning like a maniac when I'm angry. "He's smiling and showing his teeth, but I'm sure he should be pissed at the moment. He must be preparing to tear out my throat. I better make sure that sword is still nearby"
But for people who don't know me as well this has come in handy.
I don't have this issue as much anymore, but I used to have sudden bursts of anger. I'm sometimes a bit slow at figuring particular things out. So every so often, all the pieces will fall together in my head about something at once, and if it's something I'm pissed off about then the anger is cumulative, as if I had been simmering about it since the first clue entered my head. The sudden click of a couple concepts and then a sudden rush of a couple hours, perhaps even a couple days worth of anger is suddenly pouring through me. My face contorts and I'm smiling, as if I had just thought of something really funny.

I cleaned a fridge so well today that I'll likely continue to receive praise for it for the remainder of the week. I'm happy about that.

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We need one created for the years, and then the months. The months are the /////tricky ones, since they need their ID to increase more than the years, but since the functions keep referencing ///// the same name system, we have to be careful not to make the years close up when we click on a month. ///Set some Variables $YearMenuID = 1; /////What ID the preceding year link controls. Needs to be same for all the months under a given year. $MonthMenuID= 1; ////What ID the preceding month link controls. Needs to be the same for all the weeks under a given ////Month but not the same as any year, etc. $LastYearUsed = 0; $LastMonthUsed = 0; echo '

'; /////That should be the "Year" div. All the years should be in this one DIV. ///Start the main loop. foreach ($myDateArray as $key => $value) { ////Pulling the year/date. $month = ExtractMonth($value); $year = ExtractYear($value); $YearMenuID = $year; $MonthMenuID = $month; $PrettyMonth = $MyDateArray[$month]; ////Is this a new year? If ($year != $LastYearUsed) ///Then we need to put the year down. No DIV created quite yet. { ///First off, we need to close the preceding year's DIV. Twice if it ain't 2001 if ($year != 2001) { echo '

'; } echo '

$myDateArray[$key]

_HTML2_; ///That creates a DIV for the year (month based links) then the month (week based links). ////Then the first weekly link. ///That should have made a link to the weekly archive file. ///As well as creating the first month link, which is in its own DIV, } Else { ///Okay, it's not a new year. So, we need to check if it's a new month. If($month != $LastMonthUsed) { //So it's a new month. That means we need to put down a link for the month to control the div //that contains the weekly links. //First, though, we need to close up the previous month echo '

$myDateArray[$key]

_HTML3_; } Else /////////So it's not a new month, then we just need to put down the weekly link. { echo '

' . $myDateArray[$key] . '

'; } } $LastMonthUsed = $month; $LastYearUsed = $year; } ECHO '