Friday, February 21, 2003
Attack of the...Object |9:51 AM| (The following were written for another place, but I'll post them here in the proper order)

There's an object, of unknown origin, sitting in the handicapped spot outside my place of work.
It appears to be one of those regular sized paintcans, painted all back, wrapped in celophane. (It's pissing down rain, so that's likely to protect it)
There's no construction around, there's no work being done. No reason I know of to have something like that sitting in the parking lot.

In Fox News Land, this is clearly a terrorist plot. I do work inside (if not for) the second largest computer company blah blah blah.

Now, even if that whole goddamn can was an incredibly powerful explosive, since it's a paintcan, I'm safe here in the building. If it's a chemical/biological agent, it'd have to be a robotic can, with little legs and a spray gun to get to me in here.
So, I'm safe. My boss and I discussed it, and we let the fantastically lazy security people know about it. In case some handicapped people make handicapped faces at it while trying to park. More than likely, said security guy went back to jerking off to mouse on moose porn, or whatever the fuck they do.
Current ideas are "Poke it with a large stick from great distance" and "Throw rocks from great distance". We don't have a stick long enough (and my dick is not being put on the line here. Not even for national security), and have you ever looked for good rocks to throw at shit? It's like the landscapers went around and found all the rocks that could be used to peg assholes and took them away. You can't find proper rocks for a great distance.

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We need one created for the years, and then the months. The months are the /////tricky ones, since they need their ID to increase more than the years, but since the functions keep referencing ///// the same name system, we have to be careful not to make the years close up when we click on a month. ///Set some Variables $YearMenuID = 1; /////What ID the preceding year link controls. Needs to be same for all the months under a given year. $MonthMenuID= 1; ////What ID the preceding month link controls. Needs to be the same for all the weeks under a given ////Month but not the same as any year, etc. $LastYearUsed = 0; $LastMonthUsed = 0; echo '

'; /////That should be the "Year" div. All the years should be in this one DIV. ///Start the main loop. foreach ($myDateArray as $key => $value) { ////Pulling the year/date. $month = ExtractMonth($value); $year = ExtractYear($value); $YearMenuID = $year; $MonthMenuID = $month; $PrettyMonth = $MyDateArray[$month]; ////Is this a new year? If ($year != $LastYearUsed) ///Then we need to put the year down. No DIV created quite yet. { ///First off, we need to close the preceding year's DIV. Twice if it ain't 2001 if ($year != 2001) { echo '

'; } echo '

$myDateArray[$key]

_HTML2_; ///That creates a DIV for the year (month based links) then the month (week based links). ////Then the first weekly link. ///That should have made a link to the weekly archive file. ///As well as creating the first month link, which is in its own DIV, } Else { ///Okay, it's not a new year. So, we need to check if it's a new month. If($month != $LastMonthUsed) { //So it's a new month. That means we need to put down a link for the month to control the div //that contains the weekly links. //First, though, we need to close up the previous month echo '

$myDateArray[$key]

_HTML3_; } Else /////////So it's not a new month, then we just need to put down the weekly link. { echo '

' . $myDateArray[$key] . '

'; } } $LastMonthUsed = $month; $LastYearUsed = $year; } ECHO '